My 2010 wishes

As I sit in the quiet of my living room, my blanket wrapped around me and a the warmth from the fireplace in front of me, I can't help but think of what I wish for in the year 2010.

I have three beautiful and amazing children and I wish to give them love, faith, stability, a good education and a strong, firm foundation. I wish for them to have the opportunities that I didn't have as a child. I wish for them to work at their full potential and to shine brightly for Jesus! I wish for them to remain healthy and strong. I wish that their hopes and dreams come true. I wish they knew how much they are loved!!

I wish for my husband safe travels as he travels from state to state and then back home again. I wish to make many more years of memories with the man I was so blessed to have married. I wish for an answer to his knee problems as I would like him to be pain free. I wish for him to continue to grow into his role as a manager. I wish for him to remain strong and be the ROCK for our family. I wish he knew how much I love him and depend of him!

I wish to never move from Wisconsin, I love it here and consider it my home! I wish to make wise decision that I'm proud of. I wish to be more financially responsible. I wish to be more patient with my children. I wish to be a model employee and work to my full potential. I wish to be more organized and keep my house cleaner. I wish for the strength to wake up and work out to become more healthily. I wish (hope and pray) that we can find a church to call home. I wish to be the best wife and mother I can be.

I wish that in 2010 all of those who are facing cancer and illness, that their loved ones will be blessed with a renewal of spirit and hope to carry them through this part of their journey.

For you, my friends and family as 2010 blossoms, may the journey of your life be blessed with new opportunities, your days be bright with new hopes and your heart be happy with love! When you’re lonely, I wish you Love! When you’re down, I wish you Joy! When you’re troubled, I wish you Peace! When things seem empty, I wish you Hope!

Have a blessed year in 2010!!

Erhard Volcke

I’m going to date myself but here goes….19 years ago I met a man who would forever change my life!! I was 18 years old, working at Burger King and really had no direction in my life. My mother called me up one day and told me that there was an opening in the Retail Bakery for a cashier at Renton Technical College and it would be a great job and I didn’t have to work weekends, PERFECT!!! I applied for the job, got it but what I didn’t know was that I was going to meet a man who would help mold me into the person I am today. His name was/is Erhard Volke. He was baking teacher for the Baking Department. His first impression might scare you a little, he’s a big man, with even a bigger German accent and attitude . But once you get to know Erhard he’s just an all around great guy. The students would bake and I would prepare the baked goods to sale in the bakery. Mornings were always busy but in the afternoons I would sneak back into the bakery and would watch and participate with the other students. One day Erhard approached me and told me I should take his baking class and I told him there was no way I could ever afford it and besides I had bills to pay. So, several weeks had passed and he approached me again and told me he had found two lawyers in Seattle that would pay for my tuition, books, uniforms and supplies. I was speechless, no one had ever believe in me enough to give me a gift like this. I remember there being a little red tape to jump through but all I really cared about that Erhard believe in me enough to give me a chance in something we both passionate about. I remember buying my “whites” and my baking book and arriving at the school before class started, I was so eager to learn and to show my appreciation. I loved baking since before I step into that bakery and now as a student and I loved what I was learning and doing every day. I’m sure I had some bad baking days but I don’t remember them, I do remember a few failures which is normal when you’re learning to be a baker. My favorite station the yeast dough’s and puff pastries. I have wonderful memories of standing around the baking table, my right leg perched like a flamingo and rolling rolls for the dining room….lots and lots of rolls, especially around the holidays. I loved working with Puff Pastry and remembering how pretty my finial product looked. I studied, I passed all my tests and was lovin’ life. Then, the hired donut fryer quit and I’m not sure how it happened but I volunteered to come in at 2:30am and bake the donuts for FREE. Now keep in mind, I had school from 6am to 1:30pm then went to work at Fred Myers in the evenings and worked until 10pm and now I was going in come in and volunteer at 2:30am. I wouldn’t have traded that time in my life for anything. I learned so much about myself and about my work ethics. Volunteering all those free hours landed me a job at Renton Technical College as the donut fryer and I worked at the school for almost a year after graduation. My relationship with Erhard grew and not only would I consider him my baking mentor, he was my friend.
It was a sad day when I left RVC, I remember telling Erhard, if I could work for him and only him, I would stay forever but there were too many politics for me so I went on my way and began to live my life. For the next 10 years I supported myself and my daughter with the skills that I learned from Erhard and RTC. When I met my husband I was working in a little bakery in Bremerton and once we were engaged he told me that he didn’t wait 32 years to get married to have his soon to be bride get up in the middle of the night and leave him. So, I gave up one love for another….I know that I did the right thing.
So, its been over 16 year since I had last saw Erhard. The lines of communication have always been open through letters and emails but the timing hasn’t been right for a visit….that was until yesterday. Makenna and I were in Seattle visiting family and friends and I asked Erhard if he would like to meet at the school. It took me just a minute to recognize him because he has replaced his beard with a mustache. I took comfort in the fact that some things never change. I told Makenna that he’d been wearing jeans, some kind of western shirt, boots and a cowboy hat….I was right. We sat and talked about the old times, he wanted to know what I was doing and about my family. I often wonder if he would be disappointed that I wasn’t baking anymore but I don’t think he was. He told me about his children and what he’s doing in his spare time since retirement. I’m not sure if I can express into words the feelings that I have for this man. He believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. As he sat across the table from this man, I felt like his child and he was my proud Papa. He told me things that I would love to hear from my own fathers lips. As a drove away from the College, I felt like a million bucks!!
So, to my favorite Baker Man…thank you for being my teacher and my friend. You are the best teacher ever, look how many students keep in touch with you years and years after they leave. Thank you for giving me chance and I hope I didn’t disappoint you. Thank you for the life lesson you taught and the advice you gave your students. My favorite piece of advice you gave was, “Don’t burn your bridges, you’ll never know when you might need to cross them again”. I can’t wait for you to someday meet my husband and the rest of my children. Until then…..Happy Baking, my Friend!!!

My Night-Time Routine

My boys I have our Night-time routine. I’m not sure how it started, all I know is it doesn’t matter how tired the momma is we still go through with it. We start out by reading four book, each boy picks two. If they take too long picking, I’ll pick the books and they are usually the short ones or if I’m wide awake an educational one. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom is read almost every night. Since Kevin is now in kindergarten he now reads the book but I think most of its from memory. They love, I love you forever and There was an old lady that swallowed a fly. Also a book with short stories, nursery rhymes and poems are among their favorites. After books, we all take turns praying. You never know what is going to come out of their little mouth. Kevin always starts off by saying, “Dear God, I love you” and usually ends with thanks for all the super heroes and everything in the world. With Matthew only being 2 ½ his prayers are not always easy to understand but he is always has a lot to say. He is always thankful for mommy, daddy, sister, Kevin and Auntie Sheila. Then he thanks God for Blue’s Clues, High 5, his binkies and his toys(that he usually names). Then I pray over my boys, I think it is so important for them to hear me pray about them. Next comes song time. Matthew always wants to sing the Itsy bitsy spider. Then he gets hugs and kisses and then Kevin and I head over to his room where he gets a kiss and hug and once he’s up in his bed, I sing his favorite song, The Rainbow song by Barney.
The whole process takes about 30 minutes and sometimes I’m so tired I just want to hug and kiss them and put them to bed but when they give me the “Momma, will you please read to me look”, I fall for it every time. This time with my boys is one of my favorite times of the day. I get to unwind and watch daily how my boys are changing. I know I’ll blink and they’ll be in high school and no more bedtime stories….but for now I’ll read to my boys as long as they ask, no matter how tired I may be!!!

So we had a some errands to do in the Twin Cities yesterday and since we were in the area, we thought we would go to our old church! River Valley Church in Apple Valley, MN is the most amazing churches I've ever been to and on September 9, 2004 when I walked through their doors the first time, I was wowed and yesterday was no different. River Valley is 30th fasting growing churches in America and I believe it because there were so many new faces. When we started attending 5 years ago there were 600 during the Saturday and Sunday services, and now they have expanded to over 2600!! Praise God!! The music was awesome and the message was even better. Pastor Rob is one of the most amazing speakers and I so thankful that he was our Pastor for four years. When I walk through those doors I feel God presence and am spiritually feed and I'm left wanting for more....I miss that.
Pastor Rob was finishing up a series called, "Surprise me, God". Rob challenged the church for the next 30 days to wake up in the morning and ask God to surprise you but to be prepared and in the ready position because we serve a amazing and powerful God. God has been surprising us since the beginning of time, I just wonder if we don't take the time to focus on the surprises that He gives us. Our Heavenly Father is the same yesterday, today and forever...the miracles that He performed 2000 years ago are the same miracles that are happening today!! His love is still the same but are we able to see it!!??
So, I'm decided to take the 30 day challenge. To asked God to surprise me or to make me be a surprise to someone else. And, I'm also challenging you; for the next 30 days to take 2 seconds and say, "Surprise me, God"!! I can't wait....I love surprises!!!
I would like to also share a "surprise" I had last week and my husband said, it was a totally "God thing" because we're just not that lucky!! When we moved to Wisconsin and I accepted me position at Fish & Wildlife it was a temporary position. But, since I know I'm a good worker I just assumed that were would always be a job for me. Well, I was wrong. My boss told me in August that is was determined that my job was not going to be exstended and that my last day of work would be on September 30th. When she left my office I burst into tears and I couldn't believe that I would loose my job. I have over 8 years in with the Government and now I was going to loose my job!! So, I started looking for Government jobs and I applied for many jobs and had several interviewed and I was always within the top 5 but someone else was selected. I was crushed, I was stressed, I still couldn't believe this was happening to me!! What would we do without my income, how would I handle being a stay at home mom when I'm use to going to work everyday?? As my days grew shorter and shorter my faith was tested more and more. But towards the end I had made peace with what ever God had planned for me. I would be able to collect unemployment and maybe I would enjoy staying home with Matthew, after all he is my baby. On my last day of work, my co-workers took me to lunch, I came back to the office and finished cleaning out my stuff and I decided to take a 1/2 an hour of leave and go home at 2:30 that day...and at 2:20 my cell phone rang with a job offer and I could start the very next day which meant that I wouldn't have a break in Government Service. PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD!! I did a happy dance in my office, thank goodness nobody was around to noticed!!! Once again God "SURPRISED" me with His perfect timing and not mine. But wait....it gets better. When I took the job with Fish & Wildlife in La Crosse, I took a pay cut but with this new job, I was reinstated at the pay I was making when we lived in Minnesota! PRAISE GOD!! This morning will be my 3rd day of working at Fort McCoy in the Civilian Personnel Office...so far so good and I know that this is where God wants me to be because he opened a door before the other one even shut. Our God is an Awesome God!!!

Homesick

Today I'm a little homesick and my brothers are on my mind. It been over 16 years since we were all together in the same room. Since we are all adults now and three of us have kids, I wonder what it would be like to have a little reunion. Would we stay up late and talk all night, what would happen if were were to have a few drinks, I wonder what would be said?! Its no great secret that our childhood wasn't easy but somehow we have all turned out alright. Divorce sucks, it tears families apart and forces you to make choices that no child should have to make. We've all have had a few bumps and bruises along the way but I am so proud of the lives they that have made for themselves. What doesn't kills us makes us stronger, right?!
Just thought I'd take a minute to share a few of the reasons that I love my brother and why they are so special to me.

Michael-I often wonder if we were meant to be twins because the older we get the more we look alike (I know scary)! It always amazed me that we can go years without seeing one another and we'll have to same glasses or the same tooth brushes!! All I can say is that , "Great minds think alike". You are probably one of the smartest people I know but I don't think you want people to know how smart you are!! You are an awesome cook but also remember a few of the failures. Oh and the dishes you often left behind for me to clean....yuk!!! I will never ever forget the day that Thomas and I pulled away house in Bremerton. I felt like I was leaving my best friend and swear that I felt my heart break in two. I cried for hours and more poor husband didn't know what to do with me. Several years later when I was pregnant with Kevin, I automatically knew that his middle name would be Michael after you! I talk to Kevin about you and I know he's excited to see you in person.

Craig-my very favorite memory of you should have been shared with out parents but I was the lucky one to see you at Boot Camp graduation at Ft. Lenordwood. I remember trying to find you amongst a sea of green uniforms and finally I found you. You ran to me with tears in your eyes....Craig, I was so proud of you. I was able to spend a few days with you and was a witness you transforming from a boy to a man. Fast forward several years and we had lost you, no one knew where you were and Craig, I spend many, many hours searching for you and even had a lawyer friend help search for you. There were times that I wondered if you were dead or alive! With some old fashion elbow grease I finally found you. Words could not express how I felt when I heard your voice and saw your face. I wish I could have seen you a few more times before you moved back to Washington but am thankful for the time I was able to spend with you.

Joseph-you just crack me up....you've always been able to make me laugh. I think back to when Makenna was a baby and how wonderful you were with her, I knew all those years ago that you'd be a good daddy!! The time when I was able to spend with you in Vader was amazing. You were there for me when I needed you. Being a single mom was hard but you made it a little easier. I remember you on your wedding day and how handsome you looked. I was there for the birth of your first son and I'll always remember how proud you were, you hugged me and cried, or maybe there was just something in your eye!! I am proud of how hard you've worked to support your family. You have two very handsome little men and I can't wait to see and hold your daughter for the first time. I'm thankful that we were able to see you this summer even if only for a day. It was so nice for my boys to meet you for the first time.

Gary aka Wiener-I remember when mom was pregnant praying and praying that God would give me a little sister, I mean I already had three brother, what would I do with another. I was so disappointed when I found out you were a boy. I made up my mind that I wanted nothing to do with you and my Aunt made me go to the hospital to see you. I looked at you once and feel in love with you. You and I lived together longer then rest of the boys and therefore, I have many, many great memories. You had a few shaky years and I wondered what direction you life was headed. But you figured it out, it still blows my mind that your a mechanic!! I'm so thankful that I was able to fly down for your wedding, it was a special day and thankful that I was a part of it. I'm also thankful that I was able to send a few days with you this spring, I enjoyed my time with you, Jessica and your little beauties.

So to my brothers, I love you and I'm so proud of you. Can't wait to be together some day. Love you big sister!!!

Help....I've lost August

Only one more week until August is over, I'm not sure how that happened. Overall we've had a good summer with lots of yard projects. We still have to finish the rest of our retaining wall and stain the back deck before the weather changes. We were able to camp only twice, I wish we could have gone more!! Went up North to Mom and Dad's only once but will be going again over Labor Day. We also enjoy when we are able to spend a day with the Etzlers at the Lake!!!
To end our summer we are heading out of town this morning for Chicago. Tom has business during the day so the kids and I will goof off during the day and then we'll plan some family activities for the evening. Its should be a fun time.
I can't believe that school will start in one week. Makenna will be a sophomore and Kevin will start kindergarten and of course, Matthew will still be in Daycare. Our school supply shopping is done just have to get everything ready for the big day!!
My favorite season is coming up, I love Fall!! I love to be outside with the sun on my face and a cool breeze in the air. I love to watch the trees change color, fall colors are my favorite. Fall is the start of the count down to my favorite Holiday, Thanksgiving. My Grandmother use to say that she loved Thanksgiving because it was just like Christmas without the presents!!
So, while August and the end of summer is coming quickly, I'm looking forward to the next season with my family!!

9 Years Down.....90 to go!!!

Yesterday Thomas and I celebrated 9 years of marriage and as I think back about the wild ride we've been on, I want to thank God for the man he has placed in my life. We've had good times and bad time but the good far out ways the bad. We've had sickness and health and have witnessed God's healing power. We have watched Makenna Jo turn into a beautiful young lady and have lived to tell about it. We made the two most handsome little boys with the help from God, they were worth every heartache and fertility drug that we had to try. We've traveled through out Europe and made some of the most beautiful memories. I love to work and play along side my husband, I can't imagine him not being there right next to me. I still love to cuddle up next to him on the couch and share a pizza (only 1 piece now)right out of the box. Thomas has given a life that I could only dream of, so thank you Thomas for making my dreams a reality. ILYMTYEK!!!!!