No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth

Wow, has its really been over four months since my last blog? I am honestly going to try harder be blog more often. So, I'll try to catch you up on my family.
Thomas - he's such a wonderful man, I'm still not sure how I got so luck and married such a great guy. He is such a hard worker and I'm proud of what he does. He may not wear a green suit to work everyday but he is my hero and I'm feel honored that my husband helps take care of our military men and woman.
Me - well, I spent the first few months of 2010 sick and I mean very sick. I had some issues with my LapBand and was throwing up to 30 times a day. Twice I had to be hooked up to IV fluids to rehydrate myself. But once I started throwing up blood, a upper GI was done and we found out that I could keep nothing down, so the decisions was made to take all the fluid out of my band. It was really hard because I've had to start over again but I'm working it out. Work is awesome, I love my job and my co-workers and feel so blessed to be employee of CPAC. My mommy came to visit at the the end of March and we had a wonderful visit.
Makenna - Oh, the joys of raising a teenager, one minute she's on top of the earth and the next she's down in the lowest valley. So, lets go with the high lights. Makenna made it to State for Speech and placed 3rd in her category. It's official, she has a boyfriend, I'm not sure how I feel about that?! But, Joe is a very nice boy, but it just feel strange for her to be dated. She enrolled in Driver's Ed and finished her classroom time and now is working on her behind the wheel. She got a car and I know she's just itching to get out and drive.
Kevin - What a sweet little boy. My family in Washington doesn't know my boys but Kevin has a of Standley in him. He'd fit in perfectly with all the other Standley men, very loving and very funny! He seems to enjoy school and really taken a liken to math, which of course, his father loves. He loves to do anything with paper; cut, color, fold, ect. Oh and his imagination is just amazing.
Matthew - Oh, this little boy is going to be a handful for many, many years to come. He is always so busy and when he gets bored, he gets into trouble. Matthew also spend the beginning of 2010 sick but his was ear infections, so 4 days before his 3rd birthday, he had his second set of tubes put in and also had his tonsils and adenoids removed. Since then, he's been well and has been talking non-stop.
So, that's my family update and I promise to be better about posting more often.

Feeling a little Melancholy

mel⋅an⋅chol⋅y 
–noun 1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
Synonyms:
1. sadness, dejection, despondency. 2. seriousness. 4. gloomy, despondent, blue, dispirited, sorrowful, dismal, doleful, glum, downcast. 6. serious.

I consider myself a pretty up beat person however, the past few weeks I've really been struggling. Don't worry, I'll be fine just feeling a little melancholy tonight.

Thomas is once again on travel and its never easy running a household when your partner is out of town. Travel is a normal part of his job and I'm so proud of him and what he does to support our soldiers. While I miss him when he's gone I totally support the mission. However, there are some night that I miss him more then others, kind of like tonight. Usually he's home for the weekend but he'll be gone until 1/14. I've planned extra activites to stay busy but weekends aren't the same without Thomas around.

For those of you that don't know my brother Joe and his family were involved in a house fire. Joe, Connie, Josh, Jack and Joelle all got out of the house safely but almost everything in the house was destroyed. I feel so helpless and wish there was something I could do to help. I'm so thankful for their safety and the support system they have from family and friends.

I went home in October and was able to see my Grandmother after 3 very long years. I cried when I saw her, I think because I don't see her on a regular basis, I see her differently that the family that surrounds her. I loved that she dressed in skirt and looked extra pretty for me. I love her so very much and fear that I'll lose another Grandmother. She fell and hit her head shortly after Christmas and was in the hospital for a couple of days. She now needs 24/7 care and I feel really bad that I'm not there to help out more.

My friend Jen was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and right now she is cancer free. Praise God!! However, she is very heavy on my mind, so Jen if you are reading this, I miss you and think about you all the time.

Then a family from old our church in Minnesota, is near the end of their battle with cancer. My heart breaks for their family. My thoughts and prayers are with Matt, Lacey , Gabe and Grace tonight. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/laceychambers Take a minute to look at their beautiful family. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#/album.php?page=1&aid=133349&id=751124964

So as today comes to an end, I am thankful for for all the gifts that I have been given. For the husband who loves me both at home and from far away. For the three children that make me a better person and some how love me unconditionally. For the home that I live in and the car that I drive. For the jobs that support our family. For our families that live in Minnesota, Washington and Oregon. For the selfless sacrifices of our soldiers and for my salvation. Thank you Lord!!!

Thankful for safety of my brothers family

Today I got one of those phone calls. A phone call that left a hole in my heart and a horrible feeling in my stomach! It was my brother Michael, he called with the news that our brother Joe's was involved in a house fire. Of course the first thing I wanted to know, if everyone got out safe and thank goodness that Joe, Connie, Josh, Jack & Joelle are all safe and in a hotel tonight!!
The fire started about 2 or 3 am in the living room. The fire alarm and the dog barking woke up Joe; the whole living room was on fire and he had enough time to grabbed the dog and Josh, Connie grabbed Jack and Joelle, they all crawled out Joe and Connie's bedroom window since both of the doors were blocked by the fire.
By the time the fire department was there a broke down the door, the fire was out. It was a flash fire and since there was no more oxygen in the house, it went out. The inside of the house is totalled. The outside structure is okay but they don't know what will happen until they meet with an insurance adjustment.
So, tonight I'm thankful for the safety of my brother Joe and his family. I'm glad they are safe and have one another. Love you guys!

My 2010 wishes

As I sit in the quiet of my living room, my blanket wrapped around me and a the warmth from the fireplace in front of me, I can't help but think of what I wish for in the year 2010.

I have three beautiful and amazing children and I wish to give them love, faith, stability, a good education and a strong, firm foundation. I wish for them to have the opportunities that I didn't have as a child. I wish for them to work at their full potential and to shine brightly for Jesus! I wish for them to remain healthy and strong. I wish that their hopes and dreams come true. I wish they knew how much they are loved!!

I wish for my husband safe travels as he travels from state to state and then back home again. I wish to make many more years of memories with the man I was so blessed to have married. I wish for an answer to his knee problems as I would like him to be pain free. I wish for him to continue to grow into his role as a manager. I wish for him to remain strong and be the ROCK for our family. I wish he knew how much I love him and depend of him!

I wish to never move from Wisconsin, I love it here and consider it my home! I wish to make wise decision that I'm proud of. I wish to be more financially responsible. I wish to be more patient with my children. I wish to be a model employee and work to my full potential. I wish to be more organized and keep my house cleaner. I wish for the strength to wake up and work out to become more healthily. I wish (hope and pray) that we can find a church to call home. I wish to be the best wife and mother I can be.

I wish that in 2010 all of those who are facing cancer and illness, that their loved ones will be blessed with a renewal of spirit and hope to carry them through this part of their journey.

For you, my friends and family as 2010 blossoms, may the journey of your life be blessed with new opportunities, your days be bright with new hopes and your heart be happy with love! When you’re lonely, I wish you Love! When you’re down, I wish you Joy! When you’re troubled, I wish you Peace! When things seem empty, I wish you Hope!

Have a blessed year in 2010!!

Erhard Volcke

I’m going to date myself but here goes….19 years ago I met a man who would forever change my life!! I was 18 years old, working at Burger King and really had no direction in my life. My mother called me up one day and told me that there was an opening in the Retail Bakery for a cashier at Renton Technical College and it would be a great job and I didn’t have to work weekends, PERFECT!!! I applied for the job, got it but what I didn’t know was that I was going to meet a man who would help mold me into the person I am today. His name was/is Erhard Volke. He was baking teacher for the Baking Department. His first impression might scare you a little, he’s a big man, with even a bigger German accent and attitude . But once you get to know Erhard he’s just an all around great guy. The students would bake and I would prepare the baked goods to sale in the bakery. Mornings were always busy but in the afternoons I would sneak back into the bakery and would watch and participate with the other students. One day Erhard approached me and told me I should take his baking class and I told him there was no way I could ever afford it and besides I had bills to pay. So, several weeks had passed and he approached me again and told me he had found two lawyers in Seattle that would pay for my tuition, books, uniforms and supplies. I was speechless, no one had ever believe in me enough to give me a gift like this. I remember there being a little red tape to jump through but all I really cared about that Erhard believe in me enough to give me a chance in something we both passionate about. I remember buying my “whites” and my baking book and arriving at the school before class started, I was so eager to learn and to show my appreciation. I loved baking since before I step into that bakery and now as a student and I loved what I was learning and doing every day. I’m sure I had some bad baking days but I don’t remember them, I do remember a few failures which is normal when you’re learning to be a baker. My favorite station the yeast dough’s and puff pastries. I have wonderful memories of standing around the baking table, my right leg perched like a flamingo and rolling rolls for the dining room….lots and lots of rolls, especially around the holidays. I loved working with Puff Pastry and remembering how pretty my finial product looked. I studied, I passed all my tests and was lovin’ life. Then, the hired donut fryer quit and I’m not sure how it happened but I volunteered to come in at 2:30am and bake the donuts for FREE. Now keep in mind, I had school from 6am to 1:30pm then went to work at Fred Myers in the evenings and worked until 10pm and now I was going in come in and volunteer at 2:30am. I wouldn’t have traded that time in my life for anything. I learned so much about myself and about my work ethics. Volunteering all those free hours landed me a job at Renton Technical College as the donut fryer and I worked at the school for almost a year after graduation. My relationship with Erhard grew and not only would I consider him my baking mentor, he was my friend.
It was a sad day when I left RVC, I remember telling Erhard, if I could work for him and only him, I would stay forever but there were too many politics for me so I went on my way and began to live my life. For the next 10 years I supported myself and my daughter with the skills that I learned from Erhard and RTC. When I met my husband I was working in a little bakery in Bremerton and once we were engaged he told me that he didn’t wait 32 years to get married to have his soon to be bride get up in the middle of the night and leave him. So, I gave up one love for another….I know that I did the right thing.
So, its been over 16 year since I had last saw Erhard. The lines of communication have always been open through letters and emails but the timing hasn’t been right for a visit….that was until yesterday. Makenna and I were in Seattle visiting family and friends and I asked Erhard if he would like to meet at the school. It took me just a minute to recognize him because he has replaced his beard with a mustache. I took comfort in the fact that some things never change. I told Makenna that he’d been wearing jeans, some kind of western shirt, boots and a cowboy hat….I was right. We sat and talked about the old times, he wanted to know what I was doing and about my family. I often wonder if he would be disappointed that I wasn’t baking anymore but I don’t think he was. He told me about his children and what he’s doing in his spare time since retirement. I’m not sure if I can express into words the feelings that I have for this man. He believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. As he sat across the table from this man, I felt like his child and he was my proud Papa. He told me things that I would love to hear from my own fathers lips. As a drove away from the College, I felt like a million bucks!!
So, to my favorite Baker Man…thank you for being my teacher and my friend. You are the best teacher ever, look how many students keep in touch with you years and years after they leave. Thank you for giving me chance and I hope I didn’t disappoint you. Thank you for the life lesson you taught and the advice you gave your students. My favorite piece of advice you gave was, “Don’t burn your bridges, you’ll never know when you might need to cross them again”. I can’t wait for you to someday meet my husband and the rest of my children. Until then…..Happy Baking, my Friend!!!

My Night-Time Routine

My boys I have our Night-time routine. I’m not sure how it started, all I know is it doesn’t matter how tired the momma is we still go through with it. We start out by reading four book, each boy picks two. If they take too long picking, I’ll pick the books and they are usually the short ones or if I’m wide awake an educational one. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom is read almost every night. Since Kevin is now in kindergarten he now reads the book but I think most of its from memory. They love, I love you forever and There was an old lady that swallowed a fly. Also a book with short stories, nursery rhymes and poems are among their favorites. After books, we all take turns praying. You never know what is going to come out of their little mouth. Kevin always starts off by saying, “Dear God, I love you” and usually ends with thanks for all the super heroes and everything in the world. With Matthew only being 2 ½ his prayers are not always easy to understand but he is always has a lot to say. He is always thankful for mommy, daddy, sister, Kevin and Auntie Sheila. Then he thanks God for Blue’s Clues, High 5, his binkies and his toys(that he usually names). Then I pray over my boys, I think it is so important for them to hear me pray about them. Next comes song time. Matthew always wants to sing the Itsy bitsy spider. Then he gets hugs and kisses and then Kevin and I head over to his room where he gets a kiss and hug and once he’s up in his bed, I sing his favorite song, The Rainbow song by Barney.
The whole process takes about 30 minutes and sometimes I’m so tired I just want to hug and kiss them and put them to bed but when they give me the “Momma, will you please read to me look”, I fall for it every time. This time with my boys is one of my favorite times of the day. I get to unwind and watch daily how my boys are changing. I know I’ll blink and they’ll be in high school and no more bedtime stories….but for now I’ll read to my boys as long as they ask, no matter how tired I may be!!!

So we had a some errands to do in the Twin Cities yesterday and since we were in the area, we thought we would go to our old church! River Valley Church in Apple Valley, MN is the most amazing churches I've ever been to and on September 9, 2004 when I walked through their doors the first time, I was wowed and yesterday was no different. River Valley is 30th fasting growing churches in America and I believe it because there were so many new faces. When we started attending 5 years ago there were 600 during the Saturday and Sunday services, and now they have expanded to over 2600!! Praise God!! The music was awesome and the message was even better. Pastor Rob is one of the most amazing speakers and I so thankful that he was our Pastor for four years. When I walk through those doors I feel God presence and am spiritually feed and I'm left wanting for more....I miss that.
Pastor Rob was finishing up a series called, "Surprise me, God". Rob challenged the church for the next 30 days to wake up in the morning and ask God to surprise you but to be prepared and in the ready position because we serve a amazing and powerful God. God has been surprising us since the beginning of time, I just wonder if we don't take the time to focus on the surprises that He gives us. Our Heavenly Father is the same yesterday, today and forever...the miracles that He performed 2000 years ago are the same miracles that are happening today!! His love is still the same but are we able to see it!!??
So, I'm decided to take the 30 day challenge. To asked God to surprise me or to make me be a surprise to someone else. And, I'm also challenging you; for the next 30 days to take 2 seconds and say, "Surprise me, God"!! I can't wait....I love surprises!!!
I would like to also share a "surprise" I had last week and my husband said, it was a totally "God thing" because we're just not that lucky!! When we moved to Wisconsin and I accepted me position at Fish & Wildlife it was a temporary position. But, since I know I'm a good worker I just assumed that were would always be a job for me. Well, I was wrong. My boss told me in August that is was determined that my job was not going to be exstended and that my last day of work would be on September 30th. When she left my office I burst into tears and I couldn't believe that I would loose my job. I have over 8 years in with the Government and now I was going to loose my job!! So, I started looking for Government jobs and I applied for many jobs and had several interviewed and I was always within the top 5 but someone else was selected. I was crushed, I was stressed, I still couldn't believe this was happening to me!! What would we do without my income, how would I handle being a stay at home mom when I'm use to going to work everyday?? As my days grew shorter and shorter my faith was tested more and more. But towards the end I had made peace with what ever God had planned for me. I would be able to collect unemployment and maybe I would enjoy staying home with Matthew, after all he is my baby. On my last day of work, my co-workers took me to lunch, I came back to the office and finished cleaning out my stuff and I decided to take a 1/2 an hour of leave and go home at 2:30 that day...and at 2:20 my cell phone rang with a job offer and I could start the very next day which meant that I wouldn't have a break in Government Service. PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD!! I did a happy dance in my office, thank goodness nobody was around to noticed!!! Once again God "SURPRISED" me with His perfect timing and not mine. But wait....it gets better. When I took the job with Fish & Wildlife in La Crosse, I took a pay cut but with this new job, I was reinstated at the pay I was making when we lived in Minnesota! PRAISE GOD!! This morning will be my 3rd day of working at Fort McCoy in the Civilian Personnel Office...so far so good and I know that this is where God wants me to be because he opened a door before the other one even shut. Our God is an Awesome God!!!