Almond Roca

I'm getting ready for a bake sale this week to support Relay for Life. Baking is my passion and I love to share it with my friends and family. This recipe is from my Grandma Jo, who taught me to love baking. Everyone loves this recipe but it doesn't matter how often I make it, it still doesn't taste as good as Grandma's.

The first thing you need to know when making candy is that you can't be in a hurry, its a process and it takes time. But, when done correctly, I promise it will be worth the wait. Always use a stainless steel pan and a wooden spoon, I've use these same tool for all my candy making, nothing else. Always use "real" ingredients; butter,never margarine and don't even try to substitute walnuts for almonds, that's not Almond Roca. The ingredients are very easy
1 lbs. butter (4 sticks)
2 1/2 cups of sugar
1 bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips
3 cups of Almonds


Before I even start to cook the candy, I also like to chop my almonds and chocolate chips. I have always used a food processor for this process because without it, it would make this part of the candy making too hard. I chop both the almonds and chocolate faily fine and only put about a 1/2 into the food processor at a time.
Next I put a layer of almonds onto a cookie sheet followed by a layer of the chop chocolate chips. Remember to use a spoon when adding the chocolate because it chopped up so fine that it will melt in your hands.

Once all the "putsy" (one of my favorite words used by my MIL) stuff is done then the fun begins. Put all all four sticks of butter into your stainless steel pan and cook on medium to low heat depending on your stove. Once the butter is almost melted, add your sugar.

After adding the sugar and you stir and stir, you'll notice that you're butter and sugar are seperated....don't worry, this is totally normal and give it time and it will start to come together.

Once the butter and sugar become incorporated, it will turn into a pretty yellow bubbly mixture and once its starts to boil, stir every few minutes. You'll notice the mixture starting to change color, this is a good thing!!!


Next comes the tricky part, when is the candy done cooking? First off, the only time I use a candy thermometer is when I try something new, I don't know the last time I used one when making Almond Roca. My Grandmother always said that to cook it to 290 degrees but I think that it too hot. I would say 280 to 285 but I have developed a better way to figure out when my candy is done.

I get a very cold glass and water and put into next to the stove and when I think my candy mixture is almost done I put a little bit of the mixture into the glass of water. The mixture instantly hardens to the consistency that it will turn into. If I think its too soft, I let it boil for a few more minutes and try it it again with a new glass of water. The mixture should remind you of a toffee so it shouldn't be too soft and have a little bit of a crunch when you bit into it.

Once your mixture is done go ahead and pour into your pan of chopped almonds and chocolate chip. Just a reminder that is mixture is really hot and to be careful, I've burnt myself really bad a couple of times. Also, note the beautiful caramel color of this candy. When adding the mixture to the pan don't try to smooth it out just try to pour it as evenly as you can and the mixture will note go to the edge of the cookie sheet. Once you are finished pooring the mixture, I highly recommend imedeately soaking your pan in cool water, it makes is much better for the cleaning up later.


Once you've poured the mixture over the almonds and chocolate, you'll need to repeat the process in reverse order, chocolate and then the almonds. Now you're Roca is almost done....in like 3 to 4 hours. You have to find a cool place to let your candy set. I usually put mine in the garage or in the laundry, somewhere that my husband can't find it to taste it before its done. Most of the time, I let it sit over night and break it up the next morning.


Once my candy has hardened, I crack it into bit size piece. I usually use a steak knife to do this. The recipe is made most often at Christmas time and I put it on my Christmas trays or serve it at a party. But for this bake sale, I found these great little bags to sale them in.
If you have any questions about Almond Roca, just let me know and I'll help you anyway I can.
Happy Baking!!!

My Grandma Jo

I was so blessed to be able to spend a few days with my Grandmother in early December. My family is planning a trip home to Washington this summer but I felt that I really needed to spend a few days with my grandmother. Her mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be so I’m not sure if she’ll even remember the time I spend with her but I’ll never forget.
It had only been a year since I last saw here and I couldn’t believe how much she had aged. Her eyes told me how hard the last year had been on her little frail body. When I first saw her, we hugged tight and we both cried. No words were exchanged but I could feel of her love wrapped around me.
It was hard to see her just sitting and resting in her chair. My grandmother, the woman who always waited one others has to depend on others to wait and serve her. We spend our time talking about the kids and family. I had to watcher her slowly use her walker to get to the kitchen table where she watched me make Almond Roca. We told stories as my best friend and cousin Mindy sat at the table. I had to tell my favorite Grandma Jo memory. When she was decorating cakes, in a very stern voice, she would say, “Hold out your finger” and with hesitation I’d hold out my finger. She would pipe on a big glob of frosting onto my finger and then she’d whisper, “ Eat that and don’t tell your mother”. We all giggled.
I took Grandma and Grandpa out for lunch and then the next day we just relaxed and hung out at the house. I made cookies and then supper. We enjoyed a short visit with my Auntie Susie and her family. Next thing I knew it was time to say good-bye. I knew what I wanted to say and knew if I didn’t say what was on my mind I would forever regret it. I waited until we were alone and then I kneeled in front of her and held her hands. I told her that I was sorry that I didn’t live closer because if I did I would be there to help her and Grandpa out more. Then I asked her how many grandchildren she had. She told me she would have to think about it so I had to remind her that she had 26. Then I told her out of those 26 grandkids, I was the luckiest of them all, did she know why? She told me because I was first and I told her that’s right, I had her first. Then after some more tears I told her it was really important to me that she stays strong until next summer so I can bring my boys home to meet her. We hugged one last time and I told her that I loved her. Hugged and kissed Grandpa goodbye and out the door I went. I sat in my car and had a little break down, not knowing if that I’d see my grandmother alive again. It was bitter-sweet visit but I am so thankful for the time I was able to send with her.
I love you Grandma Jo!

My Running Poem

Today I did something I never thought possible. I reached another running goal. My goal was to run 365 miles (a mile a day) and today I beat that goal by 200 miles. That's right 200 miles. I guess I inspired myself and I wrote this poem today. I hope you enjoy it


"My Morning Run"
by Callie-ann Helgeson
I put on my Under Amour
I lace up my shoes
Ear buds in, ipod set
I adjust my eyes to the darkness, take a deep breath as I shut the door behind me
That first miles is always the hardest as I mentally prepare for another run
I struggle with my breathing until I finally find my pace
Now, I’m in the zone, in my safe place
As my feet start to race so does my mind
I think about my family that is tucked in their warm beds
I think about the woman who help mold me
I think about my past and dream about my future
I talk to Jesus and pray for my friends and family
I shed tears
The sun is rising, my run is almost done
One last hill and I see my home
Stop the ipod, open the door
Kick off my shoes, rest on the couch
Quiet……………for just a minute
Then I hear ……………”Mommy?!”
Now, its time to the real "running" to begin

Planting seeds

Tis the season for planting and since both boys brought home vegi's from school, we thought we'd planted them in the garden tonight. Matt planted beans and Kevin corn, both started from seeds. I can't wait for the boys to watch them grow.

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth

Wow, has its really been over four months since my last blog? I am honestly going to try harder be blog more often. So, I'll try to catch you up on my family.
Thomas - he's such a wonderful man, I'm still not sure how I got so luck and married such a great guy. He is such a hard worker and I'm proud of what he does. He may not wear a green suit to work everyday but he is my hero and I'm feel honored that my husband helps take care of our military men and woman.
Me - well, I spent the first few months of 2010 sick and I mean very sick. I had some issues with my LapBand and was throwing up to 30 times a day. Twice I had to be hooked up to IV fluids to rehydrate myself. But once I started throwing up blood, a upper GI was done and we found out that I could keep nothing down, so the decisions was made to take all the fluid out of my band. It was really hard because I've had to start over again but I'm working it out. Work is awesome, I love my job and my co-workers and feel so blessed to be employee of CPAC. My mommy came to visit at the the end of March and we had a wonderful visit.
Makenna - Oh, the joys of raising a teenager, one minute she's on top of the earth and the next she's down in the lowest valley. So, lets go with the high lights. Makenna made it to State for Speech and placed 3rd in her category. It's official, she has a boyfriend, I'm not sure how I feel about that?! But, Joe is a very nice boy, but it just feel strange for her to be dated. She enrolled in Driver's Ed and finished her classroom time and now is working on her behind the wheel. She got a car and I know she's just itching to get out and drive.
Kevin - What a sweet little boy. My family in Washington doesn't know my boys but Kevin has a of Standley in him. He'd fit in perfectly with all the other Standley men, very loving and very funny! He seems to enjoy school and really taken a liken to math, which of course, his father loves. He loves to do anything with paper; cut, color, fold, ect. Oh and his imagination is just amazing.
Matthew - Oh, this little boy is going to be a handful for many, many years to come. He is always so busy and when he gets bored, he gets into trouble. Matthew also spend the beginning of 2010 sick but his was ear infections, so 4 days before his 3rd birthday, he had his second set of tubes put in and also had his tonsils and adenoids removed. Since then, he's been well and has been talking non-stop.
So, that's my family update and I promise to be better about posting more often.

Feeling a little Melancholy

mel⋅an⋅chol⋅y 
–noun 1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
Synonyms:
1. sadness, dejection, despondency. 2. seriousness. 4. gloomy, despondent, blue, dispirited, sorrowful, dismal, doleful, glum, downcast. 6. serious.

I consider myself a pretty up beat person however, the past few weeks I've really been struggling. Don't worry, I'll be fine just feeling a little melancholy tonight.

Thomas is once again on travel and its never easy running a household when your partner is out of town. Travel is a normal part of his job and I'm so proud of him and what he does to support our soldiers. While I miss him when he's gone I totally support the mission. However, there are some night that I miss him more then others, kind of like tonight. Usually he's home for the weekend but he'll be gone until 1/14. I've planned extra activites to stay busy but weekends aren't the same without Thomas around.

For those of you that don't know my brother Joe and his family were involved in a house fire. Joe, Connie, Josh, Jack and Joelle all got out of the house safely but almost everything in the house was destroyed. I feel so helpless and wish there was something I could do to help. I'm so thankful for their safety and the support system they have from family and friends.

I went home in October and was able to see my Grandmother after 3 very long years. I cried when I saw her, I think because I don't see her on a regular basis, I see her differently that the family that surrounds her. I loved that she dressed in skirt and looked extra pretty for me. I love her so very much and fear that I'll lose another Grandmother. She fell and hit her head shortly after Christmas and was in the hospital for a couple of days. She now needs 24/7 care and I feel really bad that I'm not there to help out more.

My friend Jen was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and right now she is cancer free. Praise God!! However, she is very heavy on my mind, so Jen if you are reading this, I miss you and think about you all the time.

Then a family from old our church in Minnesota, is near the end of their battle with cancer. My heart breaks for their family. My thoughts and prayers are with Matt, Lacey , Gabe and Grace tonight. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/laceychambers Take a minute to look at their beautiful family. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#/album.php?page=1&aid=133349&id=751124964

So as today comes to an end, I am thankful for for all the gifts that I have been given. For the husband who loves me both at home and from far away. For the three children that make me a better person and some how love me unconditionally. For the home that I live in and the car that I drive. For the jobs that support our family. For our families that live in Minnesota, Washington and Oregon. For the selfless sacrifices of our soldiers and for my salvation. Thank you Lord!!!

Thankful for safety of my brothers family

Today I got one of those phone calls. A phone call that left a hole in my heart and a horrible feeling in my stomach! It was my brother Michael, he called with the news that our brother Joe's was involved in a house fire. Of course the first thing I wanted to know, if everyone got out safe and thank goodness that Joe, Connie, Josh, Jack & Joelle are all safe and in a hotel tonight!!
The fire started about 2 or 3 am in the living room. The fire alarm and the dog barking woke up Joe; the whole living room was on fire and he had enough time to grabbed the dog and Josh, Connie grabbed Jack and Joelle, they all crawled out Joe and Connie's bedroom window since both of the doors were blocked by the fire.
By the time the fire department was there a broke down the door, the fire was out. It was a flash fire and since there was no more oxygen in the house, it went out. The inside of the house is totalled. The outside structure is okay but they don't know what will happen until they meet with an insurance adjustment.
So, tonight I'm thankful for the safety of my brother Joe and his family. I'm glad they are safe and have one another. Love you guys!

My 2010 wishes

As I sit in the quiet of my living room, my blanket wrapped around me and a the warmth from the fireplace in front of me, I can't help but think of what I wish for in the year 2010.

I have three beautiful and amazing children and I wish to give them love, faith, stability, a good education and a strong, firm foundation. I wish for them to have the opportunities that I didn't have as a child. I wish for them to work at their full potential and to shine brightly for Jesus! I wish for them to remain healthy and strong. I wish that their hopes and dreams come true. I wish they knew how much they are loved!!

I wish for my husband safe travels as he travels from state to state and then back home again. I wish to make many more years of memories with the man I was so blessed to have married. I wish for an answer to his knee problems as I would like him to be pain free. I wish for him to continue to grow into his role as a manager. I wish for him to remain strong and be the ROCK for our family. I wish he knew how much I love him and depend of him!

I wish to never move from Wisconsin, I love it here and consider it my home! I wish to make wise decision that I'm proud of. I wish to be more financially responsible. I wish to be more patient with my children. I wish to be a model employee and work to my full potential. I wish to be more organized and keep my house cleaner. I wish for the strength to wake up and work out to become more healthily. I wish (hope and pray) that we can find a church to call home. I wish to be the best wife and mother I can be.

I wish that in 2010 all of those who are facing cancer and illness, that their loved ones will be blessed with a renewal of spirit and hope to carry them through this part of their journey.

For you, my friends and family as 2010 blossoms, may the journey of your life be blessed with new opportunities, your days be bright with new hopes and your heart be happy with love! When you’re lonely, I wish you Love! When you’re down, I wish you Joy! When you’re troubled, I wish you Peace! When things seem empty, I wish you Hope!

Have a blessed year in 2010!!

Erhard Volcke

I’m going to date myself but here goes….19 years ago I met a man who would forever change my life!! I was 18 years old, working at Burger King and really had no direction in my life. My mother called me up one day and told me that there was an opening in the Retail Bakery for a cashier at Renton Technical College and it would be a great job and I didn’t have to work weekends, PERFECT!!! I applied for the job, got it but what I didn’t know was that I was going to meet a man who would help mold me into the person I am today. His name was/is Erhard Volke. He was baking teacher for the Baking Department. His first impression might scare you a little, he’s a big man, with even a bigger German accent and attitude . But once you get to know Erhard he’s just an all around great guy. The students would bake and I would prepare the baked goods to sale in the bakery. Mornings were always busy but in the afternoons I would sneak back into the bakery and would watch and participate with the other students. One day Erhard approached me and told me I should take his baking class and I told him there was no way I could ever afford it and besides I had bills to pay. So, several weeks had passed and he approached me again and told me he had found two lawyers in Seattle that would pay for my tuition, books, uniforms and supplies. I was speechless, no one had ever believe in me enough to give me a gift like this. I remember there being a little red tape to jump through but all I really cared about that Erhard believe in me enough to give me a chance in something we both passionate about. I remember buying my “whites” and my baking book and arriving at the school before class started, I was so eager to learn and to show my appreciation. I loved baking since before I step into that bakery and now as a student and I loved what I was learning and doing every day. I’m sure I had some bad baking days but I don’t remember them, I do remember a few failures which is normal when you’re learning to be a baker. My favorite station the yeast dough’s and puff pastries. I have wonderful memories of standing around the baking table, my right leg perched like a flamingo and rolling rolls for the dining room….lots and lots of rolls, especially around the holidays. I loved working with Puff Pastry and remembering how pretty my finial product looked. I studied, I passed all my tests and was lovin’ life. Then, the hired donut fryer quit and I’m not sure how it happened but I volunteered to come in at 2:30am and bake the donuts for FREE. Now keep in mind, I had school from 6am to 1:30pm then went to work at Fred Myers in the evenings and worked until 10pm and now I was going in come in and volunteer at 2:30am. I wouldn’t have traded that time in my life for anything. I learned so much about myself and about my work ethics. Volunteering all those free hours landed me a job at Renton Technical College as the donut fryer and I worked at the school for almost a year after graduation. My relationship with Erhard grew and not only would I consider him my baking mentor, he was my friend.
It was a sad day when I left RVC, I remember telling Erhard, if I could work for him and only him, I would stay forever but there were too many politics for me so I went on my way and began to live my life. For the next 10 years I supported myself and my daughter with the skills that I learned from Erhard and RTC. When I met my husband I was working in a little bakery in Bremerton and once we were engaged he told me that he didn’t wait 32 years to get married to have his soon to be bride get up in the middle of the night and leave him. So, I gave up one love for another….I know that I did the right thing.
So, its been over 16 year since I had last saw Erhard. The lines of communication have always been open through letters and emails but the timing hasn’t been right for a visit….that was until yesterday. Makenna and I were in Seattle visiting family and friends and I asked Erhard if he would like to meet at the school. It took me just a minute to recognize him because he has replaced his beard with a mustache. I took comfort in the fact that some things never change. I told Makenna that he’d been wearing jeans, some kind of western shirt, boots and a cowboy hat….I was right. We sat and talked about the old times, he wanted to know what I was doing and about my family. I often wonder if he would be disappointed that I wasn’t baking anymore but I don’t think he was. He told me about his children and what he’s doing in his spare time since retirement. I’m not sure if I can express into words the feelings that I have for this man. He believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. As he sat across the table from this man, I felt like his child and he was my proud Papa. He told me things that I would love to hear from my own fathers lips. As a drove away from the College, I felt like a million bucks!!
So, to my favorite Baker Man…thank you for being my teacher and my friend. You are the best teacher ever, look how many students keep in touch with you years and years after they leave. Thank you for giving me chance and I hope I didn’t disappoint you. Thank you for the life lesson you taught and the advice you gave your students. My favorite piece of advice you gave was, “Don’t burn your bridges, you’ll never know when you might need to cross them again”. I can’t wait for you to someday meet my husband and the rest of my children. Until then…..Happy Baking, my Friend!!!

My Night-Time Routine

My boys I have our Night-time routine. I’m not sure how it started, all I know is it doesn’t matter how tired the momma is we still go through with it. We start out by reading four book, each boy picks two. If they take too long picking, I’ll pick the books and they are usually the short ones or if I’m wide awake an educational one. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom is read almost every night. Since Kevin is now in kindergarten he now reads the book but I think most of its from memory. They love, I love you forever and There was an old lady that swallowed a fly. Also a book with short stories, nursery rhymes and poems are among their favorites. After books, we all take turns praying. You never know what is going to come out of their little mouth. Kevin always starts off by saying, “Dear God, I love you” and usually ends with thanks for all the super heroes and everything in the world. With Matthew only being 2 ½ his prayers are not always easy to understand but he is always has a lot to say. He is always thankful for mommy, daddy, sister, Kevin and Auntie Sheila. Then he thanks God for Blue’s Clues, High 5, his binkies and his toys(that he usually names). Then I pray over my boys, I think it is so important for them to hear me pray about them. Next comes song time. Matthew always wants to sing the Itsy bitsy spider. Then he gets hugs and kisses and then Kevin and I head over to his room where he gets a kiss and hug and once he’s up in his bed, I sing his favorite song, The Rainbow song by Barney.
The whole process takes about 30 minutes and sometimes I’m so tired I just want to hug and kiss them and put them to bed but when they give me the “Momma, will you please read to me look”, I fall for it every time. This time with my boys is one of my favorite times of the day. I get to unwind and watch daily how my boys are changing. I know I’ll blink and they’ll be in high school and no more bedtime stories….but for now I’ll read to my boys as long as they ask, no matter how tired I may be!!!

So we had a some errands to do in the Twin Cities yesterday and since we were in the area, we thought we would go to our old church! River Valley Church in Apple Valley, MN is the most amazing churches I've ever been to and on September 9, 2004 when I walked through their doors the first time, I was wowed and yesterday was no different. River Valley is 30th fasting growing churches in America and I believe it because there were so many new faces. When we started attending 5 years ago there were 600 during the Saturday and Sunday services, and now they have expanded to over 2600!! Praise God!! The music was awesome and the message was even better. Pastor Rob is one of the most amazing speakers and I so thankful that he was our Pastor for four years. When I walk through those doors I feel God presence and am spiritually feed and I'm left wanting for more....I miss that.
Pastor Rob was finishing up a series called, "Surprise me, God". Rob challenged the church for the next 30 days to wake up in the morning and ask God to surprise you but to be prepared and in the ready position because we serve a amazing and powerful God. God has been surprising us since the beginning of time, I just wonder if we don't take the time to focus on the surprises that He gives us. Our Heavenly Father is the same yesterday, today and forever...the miracles that He performed 2000 years ago are the same miracles that are happening today!! His love is still the same but are we able to see it!!??
So, I'm decided to take the 30 day challenge. To asked God to surprise me or to make me be a surprise to someone else. And, I'm also challenging you; for the next 30 days to take 2 seconds and say, "Surprise me, God"!! I can't wait....I love surprises!!!
I would like to also share a "surprise" I had last week and my husband said, it was a totally "God thing" because we're just not that lucky!! When we moved to Wisconsin and I accepted me position at Fish & Wildlife it was a temporary position. But, since I know I'm a good worker I just assumed that were would always be a job for me. Well, I was wrong. My boss told me in August that is was determined that my job was not going to be exstended and that my last day of work would be on September 30th. When she left my office I burst into tears and I couldn't believe that I would loose my job. I have over 8 years in with the Government and now I was going to loose my job!! So, I started looking for Government jobs and I applied for many jobs and had several interviewed and I was always within the top 5 but someone else was selected. I was crushed, I was stressed, I still couldn't believe this was happening to me!! What would we do without my income, how would I handle being a stay at home mom when I'm use to going to work everyday?? As my days grew shorter and shorter my faith was tested more and more. But towards the end I had made peace with what ever God had planned for me. I would be able to collect unemployment and maybe I would enjoy staying home with Matthew, after all he is my baby. On my last day of work, my co-workers took me to lunch, I came back to the office and finished cleaning out my stuff and I decided to take a 1/2 an hour of leave and go home at 2:30 that day...and at 2:20 my cell phone rang with a job offer and I could start the very next day which meant that I wouldn't have a break in Government Service. PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD!! I did a happy dance in my office, thank goodness nobody was around to noticed!!! Once again God "SURPRISED" me with His perfect timing and not mine. But wait....it gets better. When I took the job with Fish & Wildlife in La Crosse, I took a pay cut but with this new job, I was reinstated at the pay I was making when we lived in Minnesota! PRAISE GOD!! This morning will be my 3rd day of working at Fort McCoy in the Civilian Personnel Office...so far so good and I know that this is where God wants me to be because he opened a door before the other one even shut. Our God is an Awesome God!!!

Homesick

Today I'm a little homesick and my brothers are on my mind. It been over 16 years since we were all together in the same room. Since we are all adults now and three of us have kids, I wonder what it would be like to have a little reunion. Would we stay up late and talk all night, what would happen if were were to have a few drinks, I wonder what would be said?! Its no great secret that our childhood wasn't easy but somehow we have all turned out alright. Divorce sucks, it tears families apart and forces you to make choices that no child should have to make. We've all have had a few bumps and bruises along the way but I am so proud of the lives they that have made for themselves. What doesn't kills us makes us stronger, right?!
Just thought I'd take a minute to share a few of the reasons that I love my brother and why they are so special to me.

Michael-I often wonder if we were meant to be twins because the older we get the more we look alike (I know scary)! It always amazed me that we can go years without seeing one another and we'll have to same glasses or the same tooth brushes!! All I can say is that , "Great minds think alike". You are probably one of the smartest people I know but I don't think you want people to know how smart you are!! You are an awesome cook but also remember a few of the failures. Oh and the dishes you often left behind for me to clean....yuk!!! I will never ever forget the day that Thomas and I pulled away house in Bremerton. I felt like I was leaving my best friend and swear that I felt my heart break in two. I cried for hours and more poor husband didn't know what to do with me. Several years later when I was pregnant with Kevin, I automatically knew that his middle name would be Michael after you! I talk to Kevin about you and I know he's excited to see you in person.

Craig-my very favorite memory of you should have been shared with out parents but I was the lucky one to see you at Boot Camp graduation at Ft. Lenordwood. I remember trying to find you amongst a sea of green uniforms and finally I found you. You ran to me with tears in your eyes....Craig, I was so proud of you. I was able to spend a few days with you and was a witness you transforming from a boy to a man. Fast forward several years and we had lost you, no one knew where you were and Craig, I spend many, many hours searching for you and even had a lawyer friend help search for you. There were times that I wondered if you were dead or alive! With some old fashion elbow grease I finally found you. Words could not express how I felt when I heard your voice and saw your face. I wish I could have seen you a few more times before you moved back to Washington but am thankful for the time I was able to spend with you.

Joseph-you just crack me up....you've always been able to make me laugh. I think back to when Makenna was a baby and how wonderful you were with her, I knew all those years ago that you'd be a good daddy!! The time when I was able to spend with you in Vader was amazing. You were there for me when I needed you. Being a single mom was hard but you made it a little easier. I remember you on your wedding day and how handsome you looked. I was there for the birth of your first son and I'll always remember how proud you were, you hugged me and cried, or maybe there was just something in your eye!! I am proud of how hard you've worked to support your family. You have two very handsome little men and I can't wait to see and hold your daughter for the first time. I'm thankful that we were able to see you this summer even if only for a day. It was so nice for my boys to meet you for the first time.

Gary aka Wiener-I remember when mom was pregnant praying and praying that God would give me a little sister, I mean I already had three brother, what would I do with another. I was so disappointed when I found out you were a boy. I made up my mind that I wanted nothing to do with you and my Aunt made me go to the hospital to see you. I looked at you once and feel in love with you. You and I lived together longer then rest of the boys and therefore, I have many, many great memories. You had a few shaky years and I wondered what direction you life was headed. But you figured it out, it still blows my mind that your a mechanic!! I'm so thankful that I was able to fly down for your wedding, it was a special day and thankful that I was a part of it. I'm also thankful that I was able to send a few days with you this spring, I enjoyed my time with you, Jessica and your little beauties.

So to my brothers, I love you and I'm so proud of you. Can't wait to be together some day. Love you big sister!!!

Help....I've lost August

Only one more week until August is over, I'm not sure how that happened. Overall we've had a good summer with lots of yard projects. We still have to finish the rest of our retaining wall and stain the back deck before the weather changes. We were able to camp only twice, I wish we could have gone more!! Went up North to Mom and Dad's only once but will be going again over Labor Day. We also enjoy when we are able to spend a day with the Etzlers at the Lake!!!
To end our summer we are heading out of town this morning for Chicago. Tom has business during the day so the kids and I will goof off during the day and then we'll plan some family activities for the evening. Its should be a fun time.
I can't believe that school will start in one week. Makenna will be a sophomore and Kevin will start kindergarten and of course, Matthew will still be in Daycare. Our school supply shopping is done just have to get everything ready for the big day!!
My favorite season is coming up, I love Fall!! I love to be outside with the sun on my face and a cool breeze in the air. I love to watch the trees change color, fall colors are my favorite. Fall is the start of the count down to my favorite Holiday, Thanksgiving. My Grandmother use to say that she loved Thanksgiving because it was just like Christmas without the presents!!
So, while August and the end of summer is coming quickly, I'm looking forward to the next season with my family!!

9 Years Down.....90 to go!!!

Yesterday Thomas and I celebrated 9 years of marriage and as I think back about the wild ride we've been on, I want to thank God for the man he has placed in my life. We've had good times and bad time but the good far out ways the bad. We've had sickness and health and have witnessed God's healing power. We have watched Makenna Jo turn into a beautiful young lady and have lived to tell about it. We made the two most handsome little boys with the help from God, they were worth every heartache and fertility drug that we had to try. We've traveled through out Europe and made some of the most beautiful memories. I love to work and play along side my husband, I can't imagine him not being there right next to me. I still love to cuddle up next to him on the couch and share a pizza (only 1 piece now)right out of the box. Thomas has given a life that I could only dream of, so thank you Thomas for making my dreams a reality. ILYMTYEK!!!!!

In a Funk

Just in a funk today. Need a big tub of popcorn and a good cry!!

A little blue....

Just found out that I don't get to come home at all this year!! Makens me sad!!

Things that I've been pondering

So we took the family camping this weekend which meant we were totally unplugged for 3 whole days, no cell phones, no Internet and no tv. Sometimes being unplugged is a good thing. Normally when I wake up really early in the morning and head downstairs and turn on the tv or see what is happening on Facebook but not when we are camping. I find that I had all this extra time to think and ponder about my life. Here are just a few things crossed my mind over the past three days.

*No matter how hard I try, my house will never be clean. If you come to my house and don't call first, you'll find bills on the counter, laundry everywhere, dishes in my sink and dust bunnies in the all my corners!! So do me a favor and call first so I have a chance to throw everything in a closet!!

*Camping is a lot of works, setting things up only to tear them down a few days later. However, I love it. I'm not a breakfast eater but somehow breakfast tastes better when we are camping. I love to watch my children play and use their imagination. Sitting around the campfire at night is the very best and if you add a glass of Malibu and diet....it even gets better.

*Being away from my family sucks. The older I get the more I need my the comfort of knowing my family is there for me. Sometimes I miss my parents and brothers so much that it hurts and I cherish every minute I am able to spend with them. I also wanted to say thank you to Auntie Wendy & Sharon and cousins Silvia and Crystal for the gift card to Fashion Bug and thank you for your support!! Love you guys and can't wait to join you next year on you're 3-day walk!!

*Wait Loss Surgery saved my life! I know the decision to have a gastric lap-band was the right decision for me. I feel amazing and I'm doing things I've never done before. I've participated in 2 5K walk/runs since my surgery in May. Its not easy to enter a race when you know you're not going to win but to cross the finish line is amazing. In 2010 I'm going to start walking/running 10K's and my ultimate goal is do run a half marathon the year I turn 40!!

*Napping. The older I get I find that when the opportunity arises for me to take a quick nap, take it!! I feel so much better after a little recharge.

*Sweatpants are amazing!!

*I'm a good cook and even a better baker!! However, my Almond Roca will never taste as good as Grandma's.

*I love to write, the only problem is that my grammer is awful and usually have to have Makenna proof-read everything.

*That I'm lucky to be married to such a great guy. I'm not sure how I got so lucky!! He has given me more then I ever imagined!!

*Someday I want to own a lake cabin. There is nothing quite like hangin' out at the lake all day long.

*If I didn't have children I would be driving a new mustang, but I love my kids and my mini-van, who I've named Sally!! Makenna says is wrong to name a van Sally!!

*I can live without soda and chocolate...is it easy....NO!!!

So, those were just a few of the things that crossed my mind this past weekend. I could tell you more, but it might just scare you!!

#6 - Way to go Jen!!!

Today is a very special day for my friend Jen!!! It's her 6th and final round of Chemo!! She is one of the most beautiful people I know and I'm so proud of her and this roller-coaster journey that she's been on since January! Her can do attitude has inspired me to do things I've never done before!! I don't know how many times in the past few months that I've said to myself, "Callie, Jen is battling cancer, you can walk another mile". I'm thankful for Jen's family and friends who have helped and encouraged her when she has needed it most. If you know Jeni you know how amazing she is and she didn't even let cancer damper her spirit.
Jen, Good Luck today!! So many, many people will be thinking and praying for you today. Always, always remember that, "we can do hard things"

I did it!!!

Well, today I did something that six months ago, I never thought possible. I walked/jogged in a 5K race today! This is the first time I've ever participated in a race so I didn't know what to expect. Despite the fact that I am 25 pounds lighter and 15 inches smaller I was still one of the biggest ladies there and I have to admit that its very intimidating to be surrounded by all these fit and trim woman wearing their fancy running clothes. But I had to remind myself that I'm not running this race for anyone but me, I had to prove to myself that I could do it. Its my starting point, I will compare all other races to this one!! I guess there were about 200 runners and the starting point was the hardest....to see all those people pass me in the beginning but I had to remind myself to put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on and that is what I did through out the whole race. I never quit, I never stopped for water, I just kept on going. I've been training for several weeks but today during the last 1/2 mile I was very emotional....just thinking about how far I've come in a short amount of time. Then I turned the corner and could see the finish line, there was my 6' 8" husband (he's easy to spot in a crowd) waiting for me. I'm so thankful the Tom and the boys were there waiting for me to finish!! Crossing the finish line was the most amazing feeling ever, I can't wait to do it again.
I want to thank my friend Jenifer who has given me the strength to never give up. When I'm tired and don't want to go on, I can hear her voice in my head, "we can do hard things, Callie"!!

Going Green

I guess the Going Green slogan has now effected my 5 year old. This morning as we were driving to school he yelled for me to stop. I said why? He told me that there was garbage on the side of the road and I needed to pick it up. I said, why should pick up the garbage on the side of the road. He responded, "Because if you don't do your part, the earth will get sick". I got a kick out of that one!!